A bag of flour...

As far as blogging goes these days, my efforts are an epic failure. I cannot tell you how often I want to sit down and write about things. Writing truly does help me process. But nearly every time I aim to write, something crops up.

Today though, today I am quite determined to share some thoughts, though they are backlogged in my mind.

One thing that has been pressing on my heart since December is the whole idea of the Gospel.

I grew up in church. I have quite literally been hearing about the Gospel, the way of Jesus, for over two decades. And yet, there is a profound sense of mystery that remains around the concept.

I wrestle on a regular basis with the actions that Jesus would have me do. With the street kids, I wrestle. With the individuals on the side of the road who need a ride, I wrestle. With friends that need a little extra help, I wrestle.

So often it feels like I am saying no to the requests and needs of others. In all honesty, the feeling of always saying no sinks my soul.

In the back of my mind then is the enormous question, “What does the way of Jesus look like lived out?” I wonder if I am living the Gospel at all or if the Gospel is something that requires me to give to street children, pick up strangers, and assist friends in their times of needs. I imagine it is.

It is never always clear though. And I am not saying that I never do those things. Nor am I saying that I think I need to always do those things. I think that there is a Spirit in me for the very reason of discernment.

But I am saying that I do wonder how often I see the words of Christ come to characterize my actions and my very life. And again, I stand in mystery as to what the Gospel looks like.

This December, I think I got a glimpse of it. I think I saw Scripture come to life 2,000 years down the line.

In preparation for the holiday season, our organization made it a goal to give every child’s family a food basket for Christmas. With over 4,500 students, that is a hefty goal. The food baskets would include some basic necessities such as flour, oil, sugar, on and on. Our sponsors were extended the opportunity to give financially towards this goal.

Amazingly the goal was reached. With great joy, every family was given such a basket. And gosh, I wish you could have seen the faces of the mothers and fathers as they carried their food home. There was joy and gratitude in their eyes.

And as I watched for days as families came to pick up their food, I could not help but think of the story of Jesus feeding the multitudes, the five thousand. That surely would have been a miracle I would have liked to witness.

Somehow though, I did witness it, didn’t I? I saw it in this decade, in this time, in this season of life. It did not involve fish and bread being broken, but it was in fact the same sort of miracle.

I question what the Gospel is today and every once and a while I am quite certain that I see it. I see it through the hands of others, but truly, I also want to see it through the hands of me.

What is the Gospel, I ask? It can simply be a bag of flour, God answers.